Class Discussion,
Main Room
Date 2/3/98
Start log: Tuesday, February 3, 1998
3:21:46 pm Virtual Park Hall time --
KurtDa says, "hey Mr. Cole"
NickSm has arrived.
NickSm leaves for the Two.
KurtDa leaves for the Two.
JulieOw has arrived.
JulieOw leaves for the Two.
JasonOg has arrived.
JasonOg leaves for the Three.
JasonOg has arrived.
JoeSa has arrived.
JasonOg says, "where is everybody"
FrankBl has arrived.
JasonOg says, "hey Frank, liked your conclusion"
FrankBl says, "hey ya'll"
JoeSa says, "Its so good of a day outside, they thought they would stand out in the rain"
FrankBl says, "thanks I put a lot of time into it"
FrankBl says, "Mr. Cole can we quote other sources than what we read"
JasonOg says, "we are supposed to be here today aren't we"
FrankBl says, "I thik so"
Mr.Cole says, "Hi folks, I was doing something else. "
JasonOg says, "mr. Cole is probably in his office'"
FrankBl says, "Is Mr. Cole here"
Mr.Cole says, "Yes, Jasojn, you are always free to use outside sources, as long as you document them."
NickSm has arrived.
KurtDa has arrived.
JulieOw has arrived.
FrankBl says, "How do you document the Bible"
MiMa has arrived.
NickSm says, "stop following me, loser"
KurtDa says, "whats up Jason?"
JasonOg says, "what's up Kurt"
Mr.Cole posts a note on Note Board 1.
JasonOg says, "what took you so long"
NickSm leaves for the Two.
MiMa says, "mr.cole, my draft is not up"
NickSm has arrived.
Mr.Cole posts a note on Note Board 2.
KurtDa says, "I've been in room two"
FrankBl says, "Mr Cole how do you document the Bible"
Mr.Cole posts a note on Note Board 3.
JoeSa leaves for the One.
GeraldLa has arrived.
MiMa leaves for the One.
GeraldLa leaves for the Three.
Mr.Cole says, "Hmm. People are a little slow arriving today. Maybe the rain?"
GeraldLa has arrived.
JasonOg leaves for the Three.
FrankBl says, "did you get my question Mr.Cole"
JasonOg has arrived.
FrankBl says, "What are you doing Jason"
JasonOg says, "wondering what to do"
JasonOg says, "Mr.Cole, Andy is here waiting on a computer, the lab was packed today"
WendyFr has arrived.
Mr.Cole says, "yes, I did Frank. I answered but attributed it to Jason. To restate: Yes, you are always free to use outside sources, as long as you document them."
NickSm says, "hey Wendy"
Mr.Cole says, "Thanks, Jason."
FrankBl says, "How do you document the Bible"
WendyFr says, "Hey Nick"
Mr.Cole says, "Joe, Mi, could come out and join us?""
FrankBl says, "Are the papers due tomarrow"
Mr.Cole says, "So, I wanted to continue the slide show that got cut off yesterday. But before that, any questions on what we've been doing lately?"
Mr.Cole says, "No, Frank, the due date has been moved to Friday."
JasonOg says, "papers are due Friday"
Mr.Cole says, "Other questions/problems/"
ShannonMc has arrived.
FrankBl says, "nice of you to show Shannon"
Mr.Cole says, "OK, then. I'll start the slides at the beginning to refresh your memories. Jump in with questions if you have any."
Mr.Cole shows slide #1.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
STRUCTURE and ORGANIZATION
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Mr.Cole shows slide #2.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I. THESIS
A clear thesis is probably the single most important element in any
paper's organization.
Your thesis is, in essence, your point, the thing you are trying to prove.
Without a clear sense (for yourself) of your thesis, it is very difficult
to write in an organized way.
A thesis should be saying something _persuasive_. It should be trying to
change the way the reader views or thinks about your chosen topic. Whether
you write about politics, literature, or sports, in an argumentative paper,
you are implicitly trying to change people's minds.
The thesis is frequently expressed in a single sentence, often the final
one of the introduction. This is not a hard and fast rule, however. A
thesis may be expressed over several sentences. It may never be stated at all,
only implied. (I do not suggest the last tactic unless you are very confident
in your writing).
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Mr.Cole leaves for the One.
JasonOg watches poor Andy wait as stupid people play with e-mail
Mr.Cole has arrived.
MiMa has arrived.
JoeSa has arrived.
Mr.Cole shows slide #3.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
THESIS, cont. (common errors)
A vague thesis can be as bad as no thesis at all. I often see theses
that look like this:
"Goodman and Neusner have many similarities, but also many
differences."
This thesis does not tell the reader anything. It is not trying to
persuade anyone. A better thesis might be:
"Despite their apparent differences, Goodman and Neusner are both trying
to accomplish the same thing: to motivate students to do their best."
This revised thesis is now making an argument about the relationship
between Goodman's and Neusner's essays. It tells me and the reader,
fairly specifically, what I will be writing about.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ShannonMc says, "what do you mean, Frank?"
ShannonMc says, "I always show up!"
Mr.Cole shows slide #4.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
THESIS, cont. (common errors)
Another common error is the "kitchen-sink" thesis:
"Gun control is wrong because it doesn't stop crime, it deprives
us of our freedom, and it would punish hunters."
This thesis is clear as to what the main point is ("Gun control is wrong")
and what issues it will address (crime, freedom, and hunting), but it does
not do anything to integrate these points, to explain how they fit
together. A better thesis might be:
"Though no one approves of violence, gun control advocates ignore
the many disadvantages of control for the minimal benefits it provides."
This thesis might be followed or preceded by other sentences that specifically
name the benefits and disadvatages, but again, this thesis gives a clear
indication of a position and the points that will compose that position.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Mr.Cole says, "I think that's as far as we got yesterday. Any questions so far?"
ShannonMc says, "no sir"
JoeSa says, "none here"
KurtDa says, "no"
WendyFr says, "not here"
MiMa says, "no"
FrankBl says, "no"
Mr.Cole shows slide #5.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
II. PARAGRAPHS
The purpose of your body paragraphs is to prove or supprot your thesis. A
well-formed thesis should help you define the structure and content of the
body of the paper.
The two crucial "rules" for paragraphs are:
*A paragraph should be _unified_. It should contain a single main idea
which somehow advances the thesis.
*A paragraph should also be _developed_. It should _fully_ explain and
support its point. This includes having good textual or factual support
for any assertions it makes.
These two points go hand-in-hand. It is hard to develop a disunified paragraph
because it has too much going on in it. That is where you most often find
people making unsupported generalizations.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Mr.Cole shows slide #6.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
PARAGRAPHS, cont.
Organizing paragraphs is another issue. Ideally, each paragraph should lead
logically to the next, with the whole forming a coherent argument for your
thesis. The ideal organization, of course, can be difficult to create.
Here are a few tips for organizing:
* Prioritize your points and put the best ones in positions of emphasis.
The most emphatic position in your paper is usually the final one (just
before the conclusion). That is why putting concessions in that position
is a bad move strategically (unless you can rebound from the concession
with a strong counter point). The next most emphatic point is the
beginning; you want a strong opening point to grab the reader's
attention.
A corrolary to this is that if a point seems particularly weak, it
should not be in your essay at all. Even if you hide it in the middle
somewhere, it will seem like what it is -- a weak link in your
argumentative chain.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
JasonOg says, "i have that problem"
ShannonMc says, "me too"
Mr.Cole says, "This is a fairly important point and one not everyone is aware of. Questions?"
JoeSa says, "what if the emphasis is the same throughout"
JoeSa says, "?"
KurtDa says, "Mr. Cole, should you ever start a paragraph or sentance with the word 'furthermore'?"
JasonOg says, "dork"
JasonOg says, "I changed it"
Mr.Cole says, "Well, that's fine, Joe. Mainly the point is to avoid putting weak points in positions of emphasis."
JoeSa says, "that's cool"
JasonOg slaps Kurt on the side of the head
Mr.Cole says, "I don't have any problem with "furthermore." It can be a useful transitional phrase, as we can see in the next slide"
NickSm Nick applauds
Mr.Cole shows slide #7.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
More Tips
* Use transitions to create flow from one paragraph to another.
Even a series of simple, "First," "Second," etc. introductions will
provide a bit of logical progression. However, try to be more
creative. Use phrases that establish the logical relation of your
points: "on the other hand," "furthermore," "Some might argue that,"
etc.
Look out for "cliffhanger transitions," though, where you introduce
the subject of the next paragraph in the final sentence of the current
one. These do not read well, for in the second it takes to get to the
next paragraph, the reader is asking, "Where did THAT come from?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
KurtDa says, "ok"
JasonOg laughs
KurtDa says, "just checking"
Mr.Cole says, "Boys... Does someone need to be sent to the corner?"
MiMa says, "all right"
KurtDa says, "yes, Jason does"
WendyFr laughs.
NickSm says, "yeah, Kurt"
JoeSa laughs too
KurtDa says, "yeah Nick"
JasonOg says, "Kurt told me I shouldn't use 'furthermore', he is stupid"
Mr.Cole says, "I'd like to emphasize the last point. It is something I see fairly often and is easy to fix (often the offending sentence can be moved to the next paragraph and be fine)."
KurtDa says, "I said it didn't sound right, but I was wrong, get over it"
JasonOg says, "no"
KurtDa says, "jerk"
Mr.Cole taps his foot impatiently.
AndrewGo has arrived.
KurtDa says, "sorry Mr. Cole"
JoeSa says, "...so we are allowed to use "that" as long as 'that' is well defined?"
ShannonMc says, "what Joe?"
JoeSa says, "nevermind"
JenniferCa has arrived.
MiMa says, "mr. cole, my paper didn't show up on the web"
Mr.Cole says, "In short, Joe, yes. But in the example above "that" is being used to introduce a clause."
NickSm says, "did you reload the page after uploading your paper?"
FrankBl says, "Hey Jenny where have you been"
JenniferCa says, "sorry im late, had problems with zMud againb"
JoeSa says, "OK, I got it"
MiMa says, "ok"
FrankBl says, "Mi Anne did you reload it before you checked the web board"
Mr.Cole shows slide #8.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
III. INTROS. AND CONCLUSIONS
Introductions and conclusions are difficult to write but important structural
elements. Both should summarize your position, though not in precisely the
same words. Both should be memorable, to catch the reader's attention and to
leave the reader with something to think about.
Though intros come first in a paper, you may not want to _write_ them first.
You will often find that your idea of what you are writing changes as you
write. That's fine and normal, but be sure that your intro. matches what the
rest of your paper says. If it doesn't, go back and change it so that it does.
Your introduction is a kind of promise to the reader what you will be
talking about. It is not good to break that promise.
Conclusions are perhaps even harder because you need to find a new way to
express your main ideas. You do _not_ want to be bringing in new arguments at
this point, but at the same time you need to have a "hook" to cement your
argument in the reader's mind. This is probably the most appropriate place
for rhetorical flourishes, big dramatic send-offs, though try not to go
overboard.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
JoeSa says, "that's cool: one big promise"
Mr.Cole says, "There are sort of two stages to mastering these. The first step is to get a hold of the functional aspects. Once you have that you can work on embellishing them."
Mr.Cole shows slide #9.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
IV. THE FIVE PARAGRAPH ESSAY
Most of you learned this form (Intro/ 3 body paragraphs / Concl.)in high
school. It is a quick-and-easy way of structuring essays, but I hope you
will begin to move beyond it in this class.
Why? Because the 5-paragraph essay can become a substitute for really
thinking about your organization. Many arguments do not fit into the
five-paragraph form and get distorted by being forced into it.
Perhaps you have _four_ main points that you want to cover in the body of
the essay. Perhaps you only have two, but they are each complex enough
for several paragraphs of discussion. Perhaps you want to spend more than
one paragraph on your introduction to lay out the issues or to relate
an anecdote to catch the reader's attention. These are all things that
do not work when you are a slave to the five paragraph form.
The five paragraph form can also force you to include a point that is
much weaker than the others, just to fill its three-part model. Or it
can cause you to neglect or underdevelop a point so as not to break
the model. Thus, it can do a great deal of _harm_ to an argument.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
AnandVy has arrived.
MiMa says, "ok"
Mr.Cole says, "I get a LOT of questions on the 5-paragraph essay. This is pretty much my official position. It's not that 5 paragraphs are in herently bad, but that they can become a bad habit."
Mr.Cole shows slide #10.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
SUMMARY
Organization takes work. Perhaps the key point to keep in mind is that
all the parts of an essay should be working _together_ to make your
argument work. In some ways, your essay should be telling _you_ how
it needs to be organized. Once you learn to listen to it, organization
will be much easier.
Good luck.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Mr.Cole says, "So, did that help anyone?"
JasonOg says, "yes sir"
AndrewGo says, "Yeah"
WendyFr says, "yes sir"
MiMa says, "thanks, i needed it"
JoeSa says, "yes sir, I could use some good luck"
ShannonMc says, "yes sir"
FrankBl says, "yes sir"
WendyFr says, "whatever, Joe"
JulieOw says, "yes"
JoeSa says, "...and all that other good stuff"
AnandVy says, "yes"
KurtDa says, "sure"
Mr.Cole says, "OK, then. I'm going to send you off to your groups. There is a new assignment on the note boards. You are all fluent at reading them by now, I hope."
MiMa goes out.
NickSm leaves for the Two.
MiMa has arrived.
WendyFr leaves for the One.
ShannonMc leaves for the Three.
JasonOg leaves for the Three.
MiMa leaves for the One.
FrankBl leaves for the Three.
KurtDa says, "What number is it"
AnandVy leaves for the One.
JenniferCa leaves for the Three.
JoeSa leaves for the One.
GeraldLa leaves for the Three.
JulieOw leaves for the Two.
Mr.Cole says, "# seven"
KurtDa says, "gracias"
AndrewGo leaves for the Two.
KurtDa leaves for the Two.
Mr.Cole leaves for the Three.
AndrewGo has arrived.
NickSm has arrived.
Mr.Cole has arrived.
KurtDa has arrived.
Mr.Cole says, "Time's up folks. You can split. See you here tomorrow."
AnandVy has arrived.
WendyFr has arrived.
AndrewGo has disconnected.
NickSm says, "see ya'll later..."
NickSm has disconnected.
Mr.Cole says, "Those who didn't post drafts, do so tonight"
WendyFr says, "Bye everybody!"
KurtDa says, "bye guys"
WendyFr says, "bye, Kurt"
AnandVy says, "Mr. Cole I'm starting to feel worse again so I'm sorry I missed you today"
KurtDa says, "bye WEndy"
WendyFr smiles.
GeraldLa has arrived.
KurtDa has disconnected.
Mr.Cole says, "It's OK, Anand. Do you want to come in tomorrow?"
WendyFr has disconnected.
End log: Tuesday, February 3, 1998 4:17:37 pm Virtual Park Hall time --